The one thing that I feel I get run over for is the only thing that seems to set me apart.

If there's anything good about me that people can say, it's how I'm always flexible or whatever.
If they need me, I'm there.
And I generally don't cmplain.

Well, it's getting to me right about now
And I don't know what I can do about it.

I don't want to say anything, because I dread that voice, and that look.
I feel helpless and defenseless.
And not understood.

I'm tired.
I just want to be happy.
But I feel like I can't live my life
I feel like I have to always have it open to be able to jump when asked.
Sure, I've said no.
But there are some things that just feel out of my control.

This is really inconvenient for me.
But, what can I do?

I feel like I've been deceived.
So why did I buy in?

I could have sworn God was leading me
Maybe this is just a bit of hardships that I have to endure
Maybe things will get better...
But what about all this time and all these opportunities I feel like I'm losing?

I'm scared.
So, I sacrifice my happiness for security.
Maybe one day, I will have endured all this
And I can have both.

Until then, I make the most of what I can.