"I love you, even though I don't ever see you."

"I love you, even though I don't ever see you."

I was told this today.
And honestly, even though it was intended to be an extension of love and care and all that, it struck me as immature and made me glad that I have distanced from this person.

"I love you, even though I don't ever see you."

If you were to only love me because you saw me, what kind of love would that be?
It wouldn't.
It would be convenience.
It would be selfish.
It would be shallow.
It wouldn't be any kind of love I would want.

I think that's a fact that's lost in this day and age...
Distance happens
Patience is needed
You're not always gonna get what you want.
Sometimes life is uncomfortable.

But if you can live life knowing these things, I think you can spare yourself a lot of heart break.

The friendships I have now are ones that I know will hold up if one of us ends up moving.
Which, wouldn't you know it, is happening.
Almost all of my friends move. Literally. And if they don't move, they get married. Or both.
They get married and move.
And if you're not prepared for that, it can completely alter the friendship, and even leave it broken.

You have to be able to function without instant gratification.
It has to go deep enough to where you can trust that even if you don't see them or hear it all the time, they care about you, they love you, they like being your friend.
If not, it will self destruct.

You'll over think.
You'll assume.
Conclusions will be jumped to that will inadvertently destroy the relationship.

Sometimes you can come back from these.
You learn, you grow.
But, sometimes you just can't.

Unless both parties are willing to learn, grow, admit fault when needed, etc, it's doomed to fail.

Now, this isn't any reason to just be a loner forever.
That would suck.
No, it's just an example on why you shouldn't just throw love around.

Okay, wait. You should love everyone. Love is great. You should treat everyone with kindness whether they are deserving or not.
But as for who you should confide in, who you should let walk with life along side of you, who you should let be your "person," that should take a little more thought and consideration.

I don't like throwing around the term "best friend." I think it's over used and worn out. People are so quick to use it and throw it around when they don't even know the person, or use it as this great crowning glory that make the people who really matter feel like crap.

Because the people who really matter will be there when the "Best Friend" can't fix you any more, or when they get married, or when they aren't around anymore and feel like that dictates love.

My love language is quality time, meaning I feel the most love when you spend time with me. But I am very aware that time is not the definition of love. Rather, if you really love someone, you will spend time on them. Not necessarily with them.
I don't even get to talk to my closest friends all the time. But I know if I need something, they're there. If I had a bad day, they're at my door step with flowers, juice pouches, and inside jokes. If they see something that makes them think of me, they let me know (that is if they didn't buy it.) We make time for each other when we can, but we don't get bent out of shape if we can't.
It's like family. You know they'll always be there. (I know some families aren't like this, which makes my heart really sad... Because that, I think, is the most beautiful part of family. That even if you argue or have your falling out, they're there when you need them. No matter what.)

If someone really loves you, they'll love you even if they can't see you, if they don't hear from you, if you say something that offends them, if you forget to text them back, if you have to postpone plans, if you start hanging out with someone else. Because they know that when they can see you, it'll be worth it. That you'll be there when they need you. That those things I say, they've probably said something similar to you. That the plans will be even better when they do happen, and that no one can take their place.

It makes their words, time, considerations, and everything else that much sweeter. Because you know it's not forced, but from the heart. Because it's there when you need it, not because you demanded it.
You don't have to be afraid of what will happen when you let go, because you don't have to have a death grip on them to make them stay.
They stay because they want to.
Because they like you.
For who you are, not for what you can do for them.
They talk to you because they want to, not because they have to.

"I love you, even though I don't ever see you."

Actions speak louder than those words ever will.

(and that was deja vu.)

There's something about spending time with someone who was there when you were born...

My family went to have lunch with a lady from our church today. She's recently a widow, and  I've known that her family has known my family for a while, (since her husband worked with my Dad) but I guess I didn't really realize or fully grasp how long. I remember them from when I was a kid, and knew they moved back recently when they started going to my parent's church again and I would see them when I visited.
I remember the first time I saw them again, Mr. Michael hugged me with tears in his eyes. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me his was so proud of me.
It wasn't a couple months later that he died of complications from a heart attack.
I've since started coming back to my parents church now that I've moved back into town, and I've seen Ms. Sally and spoken to her a few times. I don't think she recognized me at first, not as her husband had, at least.
She made chili last week and invited us over, but mom had just made chili too, so we decided to wait til this week with hopes that the coming cold front would give us better weather for the dish. Her kindness was so gentle, I know it meant as much to my family to be there as it did to her to have us.
We shared stories and laughs, that's when my sister and I found out she was there when we were born. They actually moved 2 months after I was born, to which we would visit them as I got older. I remembered them, vaguely.
As we left 4 hours later, she told me, "It was such a joy to get to know you a little better! I know your sister, but I didn't really know much about you, and I absolutely loved getting to!"

There's something about spending time with someone who was there when you were born...
To have them meet you when you're an adult, and like who you are.

This is a sign of a life well lived.