Human.

I am one person.
One human.
Sometimes everything life has to throw at me soars towards my face within moments of each other.
Sometimes I just don't know how to handle it.

So if I seem a little off.
If I get quiet.
If I can't seem to predict what is wrong with you and have a solution before you ask me.
If I take some time to respond.
If I seem to be avoiding you.
Please, understand I am human.

I have things that go wrong with me.
It takes me some time to process these things.
I have to take my health into consideration now.
And sometimes I just don't have time for anyone besides myself.
Not because I'm selfish.
No, simply because if I don't take care of myself, I can't take care of others. There would be no me here to take care of others.

So, give me my space.
Get your nose out of my business.
If you're going to use words, make them kind.

In fact, that should be a common practice for you anyway.
Kind words can heal or hurt.
And we may not remember what they were, but we'll remember the feeling attached to them.

Maya Angelo introduced us to this generation to that concept.
She also died today.

Lyrics

"Beautiful Girl"

Unfurl your gown

A distant fuller skin

I knew you once

My God the sun

The windows bear your bones

Reveal your crime

Beautiful girl

Let the sunrise come again

Beautiful girl

Your sailor eyes

The water in the well

A thirst to fill

Let down your arms

The purging of this dark

The fall to free

Beautiful girl

Let the sunrise come again

Beautiful girl

May the weight of world resign

You will get better

I love this song. Especially when I'm feeling really sick and no one gets it.

I'll save my deep, inexpressible thoughts on it all for myself. Why put something beautiful out there that no one will understand enough to appreciate the true beauty of it, just to have it marred?

That'll be saved for my journal.

Speak.

Sometimes I go back on my old blog posts and glance over some while looking for something specific.
And sometimes in doing this, I'll read parts of things that surprise me.

Did I say that?
Am I sure I'm on my blog and not someone else's?

Then further.
Why don't I remember that when I need it?
Oh, there's my answer, I typed it here 8 months ago.

The point being: Speak.
Even if you don't feel you have anyone who will listen.
Find some way to get what is in your head and heart out.
If only to encourage yourself later on, do it.

Some of my old posts are just rants, some are pointless fact, some don't make sense to other people.
But sprinkled between those are bits of golden wisdom waiting to be found.
My words?
No.
A blog I type?
Yes.

I can't claim this wisdom. It's not some great realization I conjured up on my own. I can't take the credit, because it's not me. The Holy Spirit guides me, and whispers these things to me.
Now you have some weird visual of a foggy being whispering sweet nothings in my ear, right...
Well, that's not accurate either.
Sometimes I don't realize that it's the Holy Spirit showing me these things. Sometimes it takes writing and stumbling upon later. Sometimes I do see that it's Him and it makes me smile.

Write.
Speak.
Get it out.

Do it.