I'm not sure what I think
or feel.
It's a weird thing.

I have a new job, and I love my coworkers.
I'm laughing, because one of my coworkers is friends with one of my old best friends.
Granted, I'm not sure how she knows her, but it's a crazy thought.

It makes me automatically assume that I'm not good enough
That I'm everything I used to be
That I'm not wanted
That I'm a nuisance.
That eventually everyone will get angry with me and kick me to the curb.

It makes me angry at myself
For being bland
For not having enough fun things about me
For not being enjoyable
For talking to much to try and make up for it.
For being so awkward.
For being too deep all the time.

I'm learning how to not be so deep.
Maybe that's why this is hard, because I'm still learning.

It makes me want to compromise.
I deep down don't want to
but there's a thought in me.
There's a lot of thoughts in me.
No one really knows my brain
What I'm feeling or thinking
Who I am.
I try.
But there's many me's
and I'm still trying to figure it all out.

All while tolerating.
more stuff I don't know what to do with.