What to do with all these maybe's

Maybe everything isn't meant for me to figure out.
Maybe I should just stop thinking about things so much.
Well, I'm sure I should just stop thinking about things so much...
But I'm so unsure of what to do with myself...

I've noticed I've been trying to keep busy so much...
I used to just be so content--well, as content as possible--with just being by myself, in my room or whatever. Thinking, painting, journaling, drawing...whatever I felt like.
Go through life, and do those things...
Now, it seems like, I almost can't
I mean, I know I can...
but, if all I do is go to work, and come home, it seems like such a burden.

I want something sure...something I can count on, something I know won't change...
I mean, yes, I have Jesus. I am SO beyond grateful. I just don't know how to balance spiritual and physical. I want Jesus, He's all I want, but I have to function in the real world too, ya know?
I have to see people, I have to live, I have to work, I have to face things, I have to do all of this

So I find myself in this rut.
Not knowing what to do, think, feel, how to act or react...
Just going to work and coming home seems so discouraging to me.
And I mean, I know my life is something, but at the same time, I feel like I'm just a disappointment
I know, I know, I'm not... but I feel like I just can't be everything to everyone
Not even that, but that maybe I'm not enough.

I don't know
I probably just think too much
but if I don't think, then what am I supposed to do?
Well, thinking isn't getting me anywhere...
...but it does fill my time...
And it's not destructive...per se...

bah. I don't know.
I'm pretty sure everything will work out to be just fine in the end.
I would just like a bit of security.
Something tangible
Something I could hold on to...

Maybe one day...