Maybe it's just me...
No one else seems to feel the same way, or notice...
but, no one else's sister is involved, either...
Why do I freakin' care? Why do I make it such a big deal?
Why do I feel like I'm not good enough? Like they really don't care about or love me? Like I'm just an obligation?
Who told me that? No one. No one but myself...
But, I am so afraid that it must be true...
That She's the favorite...that I'm just "The little sister"--the tagalong
That I'm nobody important, and it wouldn't be noticed if I was gone...
Why can't I seem to find the words to bring up this topic and clear the air?
I could say something...go straight up and say it.
Say what?
This seems inexplainable...
and even if I did find the words, would I just look stupid?
Would I be misunderstood?
I wish I could take out my brain, and pick all this crap out of it, then stick it back in and not have to worry about it.
Why do I make it out to be such a big freakin' deal?
Jesus... please.
Help. I need something, anything... What am I supposed to do?
I don't want to lose a friend, but my instincts make me want to back off, so I stop feeling like this...
I don't want to back off... I want this friend.
But, I keep feeling like this.
I'm getting mad at myself for being like this
but, how do I change it...
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