"There's a Fighter in me."

I personally don't believe that there is any other explanation for all this flippin' sickness I've been dealing with for the past few years, except that satan is trying to get me.
Well, he's gonna lose. so. hah, the sucker.
There was a day--Wednesday February 7th, 2007--that Jesus moved on my heart and in my life. He had been dealing with me to give up the one thing that was keeping me from Him. It was a simple decision, I really didn't think it was a big deal.
After Church that night, I asked my S.A. (Student Advisor) if I could tell her something. She sat with me and I simply told her that I was giving it up. It was getting ridiculous. I couldn't keep making the "just get up when you fall down" excuse. I'd never give it up. I'd just keep justifying my sin and never give my whole life over to Jesus.
She cried. That's when I thought, "maybe this is bigger than I realize." Then Jesus said, "this is the last thing that you have give with that was your choice to deal with. Every thing else will be a direct attack from satan. Be ready."
Six months later is when I first started feeling sick. It was only for a few months--when I was overwhelmed and had an extremely nervous stomach. It didn't come back until that summer. Before camp even started, I had gotten so sick, I could hardly stand. someone prayed for me, and I immediately felt better. Slowly, when things got more stressful, I started to feel sick again. It really made me mad.
I went to the doctor for it after the summer was over. My cousin was worried about me because she had gotten really sick herself and didn't want the same to happen to me, so I caved and went. The doctor ended up sending me to get xrays done on my stomach--that was an experience--then called me back with the results saying, "We didn't find anything wrong, and the blood work came back fine."
That's it?
Okay...
So, I just continued on with life...
Honestly, I became oppressed. Got really depressed and every thing I had ever struggled with was slammed back into my face.
I moved to Delaware. Moved back. And during that time and thereafter decided that there was going to be no compromise.
I went back to the Doctor in August--almost exactly a year since I had gone the last time. When I got there, she asked me why I hadn't come back a year ago, that I was supposed to come back two weeks later. Umm...she never told us this. Whatever. She prescribed me some medication for a stomach ulcer--apparently unsure of what it was that is ailing me.
The first four days I was on the medication, I felt the worst I ever had. It was so miserable. After that, it seemed to be working. Well, things came up and we weren't able to get my prescription filled. I just didn't worry about it. I felt okay.
I ended up going two months without the meds.
When I couldn't take it anymore, I asked mom to get it filled...
I didn't know how, I always say the wrong things and am not even sure if I'm on insurance.
She threw a fit about it, but this was a battle worth fighting, I felt terrible.
I've been back on this medication for about a month.
I went back to the doctor for a follow up thingy, and when she asked if it was working, I told her it was--thinking it was--and she said, "I guess it was a stomach ulcer, then."
Of course, after that, I started feeling icky.
I don't think I've felt worse than I do now--especially today.
But--you know--it just reminds me of what God told me a few years ago.
Maybe that's why they can't figure out what's wrong with me.

But, you know, I'm not giving up.
This can't get me down, I'm a fighter.
I may have days where I'm a little weaker than others, where I feel it a little worse than before, where I can't keep myself distracted enough to not think about it, but that doesn't mean I'm giving up.

There's a Fighter in me.
Therefore, I have the automatic win.
:)
Haha, sucker.
the devil thought he had me, but he's just making the win more victorious.