Just wait...

I have found myself in recent days to have a rather anxious heart...
...it has only been of late that I have finally been able to peel back the scales over my eyes to see life through the eyes God wants me to use.
That there are things that happen, or that I think I want but can't have, or that I don't want but have, or just don't understand and even so, it's okay.
I don't see the big picture.
And before, I would always look at the here and now. Or way off future--things I have absolutely no control over. I would get really anxious, and would have semi-panic attacks when I couldn't make things work myself, or figure things out, when details weren't set.
But now, I see that those little things don't matter.
I need to just focus on God--what He thinks of me, His opinion on my actions or in some cases lack thereof, where He's guiding me, etc.
I just need to trust that the One who planned out every intricate detail of the world in it's functioning and flourishing entirety is also taking care of my life.
That He knows me better than I know myself.
That He is preparing my way.
That He is helping my decision making now to prepare for later.
That He may hold back some things I think I want or need, or would make things better, or whatever to prepare me for the wonderful things planned out ahead.
That He has everything under control.
That He guides my way now when I don't understand with my best intentions in mind for the long run in ways that my human mind and planning could never know.
And that in my waiting, all the details are being ironed out.
Those things can't be rushed, ya know?

Honestly, I can't understand how people don't trust Him.
It'd be like taking a test where the teacher gave you a paper with every single answer and you choosing not to use it.

:)