okay... So I learned.

I don't pray enough...
so, here I am... blah blah blahing about everything I have no control over...
when I was thinking back on earlier today, What was taught in Children's Chruch
See, God was talking to me in Children's Church
at first I was having a hard time about not being in the other service. We had a guest minister, and I knew it was gonna be good (which it was) But, I was trying to encourage myself that Children's Church can be just as good.
After church, I started getting a little discouraged, but this is where i have to remind myself of what God said to me...

anyways, I was thinking back on the service...
We were talking about missions, which was kinda cool, cause the guest speaker is a missionary.
I was actually excited, because I knew I could go lots of places with this. And, knowing there was a guest speaker, I knew we would have plenty of time.
I got to talk about the importance of supporting missionaries, with an emphasis on prayer.
It was great...it really was.
The last time I was in there, I played a song by Shane&Shane that was applicable to the lesson. It was off the cuff, but they really seemed to enjoy it.
This time, I decided to play "Set The World On Fire" by Britt Nicole.
Before I did, I told them the story about my friend Rachel. It was her favorite song. She had always dreamed of going to Kenya, and helping orphans and youth. (www.rachelsfire.org)
She died in a car accident when we were at Bible school, and it was really tough...
But, through all that, her dreams didn't die. They set up a fund to build an orphanage in her honor in Kenya. Her dream lives on.
I challenged them to dream. To pray, which we did at the end.
I had one of the grandparents of the kids who sat in on a bit of it tell me, "You are a wonderful children's teacher" which made my day... And I had noticed, that when I started speaking, the kids listened... it just kinda struck me...
That's when God reminded me of what He's called me to do at this moment
"Live, to show others it's possible"
and how I'm called to this little town. To change it. To shake it. That He's gonna use me.
Well, This is where it begins. With these kids...

So, anyways... I was thinking back to this, and remembering Rachel.
I went on her site, and was just reading all these things she had written...I found myself crying...I really miss her...
Then I realized... This said person in the last blog--the one that is causing me so much problem--why? Why is it a problem? I doubt they notice it.
Am I praying for them?

I thought that...and instantly, it was like a battle. To just think about praying for them... it was like pulling teeth! So many things were going through my head, like, "what would people think about you?" and "But, that's not something anyone is used to?" or "what if someone found out?"
Who the heck cares?

One thing we taught the kids today is to pray for everyone. Even our enemies, or those people who we're having a hard time with.

I'm pretty sure that will fix my problems...
It'll help me be more patient with said person
and know how to act and respond
and be more lovely to the poor dear friends that have had to put up with me.

Yes, I do believe I shall start a new thing...
Just, be praying for me...
Sometimes, for some reason, just sitting down and setting aside time is a fight.

I guess because the devil knows that is where battles are won