Sigh

Where do I begin?

My heart is rather heavy.



I haven't been able to journal at all this year

And it just seems that all these things keep piling up.



I saw an old friend today. One I hadn't seen in a few years.

We've kept up through text and facebook, which I am extremely grateful for

He came to Texas, and made a point to come to Corpus to see me.

This means the world to me.



He updates me about Bible School people we know...



This is when my heart starts breaking...



I realize, there are so many people I have known that I never hear from.

Some even come to Corpus--knowing I live there, but not saying a word.

Some even live 15 minutes from me, and I've never seen...

I find out people I used to be super close to got married...

I find out people are pregnant

People are divorced...



It's a lot to take it.



It just makes me think of whether or not all that time I spent on them, and all of myself I put into the friendship was wasted...

What's the point?



and here, currently, I find myself in a season of life where I'm meeting tons of new people, and spending time and energy with and on them.

I think these will finally be the friends that will keep up

But, there's a voice in the very back of my head saying they aren't...

Or what if they're not.



I guess my heart just breaks

Or doesn't know what to feel.



How do I know what is worth it?

I guess it's all a risk.