sometimes I wish...

Sometimes I wish I could just, start my life over.
or at least parts of it.

My life doesn't make sense.
It doesn't seem to be going anywhere.
It doesn't seem to have much of a point.

I find myself hurt, and a little lost.
Once again.

I feel replaced.
I feel pointless.
Yet, when I do something different, I have people texting me and calling me and telling me they miss me and not wanting me to leave.
But, if I don't, then I feel pointless.
I already feel replaced.

There's so much I don't understand.
There's so many things that scare me...

When do I do stuff for me
And when do I take other people into consideration?

What place does family really take?
I love them. They mean the world to me. I finally have a good relationship with them...
...but now... I don't understand.

Jesus is my only constant.
The only Surety that I have.
The only One I can truly depend on.
The only One that always gives me good advice and guidance, with my best interests really in mind.

So, whatever happens.

He's my life.