Growth.

I might be (as in more than likely, pretty much am) moving out with my friend Chrissy until she gets married.
It's pretty much a no lose situation on my part. I talked with her, and it's a really great opportunity. She has opened up her heart to me to truly help me out with this.

So, why the delay?
I'm terrified.

I didn't expect so many of these emotions would arise from all this. Emotions I thought I had gotten rid of long ago.
Feelings of not being worthy.
Feelings of immense fear.
Feelings of worry
...whether she'd get sick of me
...whether I'd get hurt again
...whether my parents are truly up for this
...whether I'll be screwed financially with all these things I'm finding myself needing ( a new laptop asap, a flash for my canon by October)

I talked with my friend Megan about it. She's the same personality type as I am, and so I know she understands all these stupid emotions I find myself working through.
I was able to be transparent with her, even with my stupidest fears, and know that she would give me an honest answer, and one that's not biased.

She really comforted me in this decision
That it's not my parents life, it's mine. Their opinion has worth, but may not hold all the answers.
That it's a safe place for rick. Chrissy is probably the most loving person I've met, and I know she'd be open to my flaws and understand that I have them.
That when I follow Jesus, He's gonna take care of me. He won't let me go, He won't leave me stranded.
It was very comforting.

So, now I'm working to getting my mindset as a sound one. I don't want to let this get to me.
Mind over matter.
I'll be fine. And I'm sure at the end of it all, I'll be sad it's over.

This is a step of faith.
Maybe it holds all the things I've been praying fro.
And, if it doesn't?
That's okay, too.
I trust Jesus. I want His desires for me, and I want Him to change my desires to match His.