I had this dream last night.
It was pretty vivid and I think it was one of those dreams that means something...especially because of how vivid it was.
It kinda scares me...
Because, I know a lot of changes are coming...
and, even though I am beyond happy for everyone, because this is everything they've been dreaming about... I'm scared.
I don't really like being alone.
Now, I don't know if I'll ever get married...but I'm afraid that everyone is finding their husbands, and I'm just the one they go to before when they're upset and unsure and all that stuff, and then it proves to be okay, and I'm just left here alone...
They say that won't happen, but some things are just inevitable...because, I mean, he'll be your husband, I'm not. And that's good. I don't want to be treated like I am. But still, it's a big change going from always hanging out to letting this guy in.
I guess I've just been screwed over so many times by that... I don't know.
But, maybe this is the year.
Maybe this really is the year of completion.
It's something I've waited my whole life for, but could it really be here? Finally?
I don't know

I think when I die, it'll be in the spring. Not sure why, I just love the spring. And, even though in my dream it was October, I think that's just because it was October when I had the dream.
I wish I would have another one. Some form of confirmation. Some form of knowledge more than I have now. But maybe I don't want that.