Control.

A lot of the stuff God is digging up in my life recently has to do with control.
My desire to have it.
My need to let it go.
And everything in between...

Today, a dear friend of mine came in to the shop. I've gotten to know her from working at coffee waves. I absolutely love her, she is very dear to me. Her mom is absolutely precious, and it brightens my day anytime they come in.
Today was extra special, because recently, my dear friend had to have brain surgery. I was so bummed that I couldn't go see her in the hospital, but part of the reason was the fact that she got released so quickly, which is good :)
Talking to her mom, she described the whole ordeal. The seizure, catching the tumor early, the scar--everything that goes in to these sort of things. Now, I've read plenty of blogs from people going through difficult things like this. It seems to be the cool thing to do. The stories are ones of sadness, as well as strength.
This one just hit closer to home. It put it all into perspective.
She told me how Syd joked about dying when they did the surgery. Laughing as she said, "change my status to 'Chillin' with Jesus'" Anita let out a slight chuckle and said, "It killed me to hear you joke like that!" It was a light hearted moment. Then, when it was just Anita and I, she told me. "That was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through."
It's like everything God has been trying to teach me all fell into place with that one statement.
What Anita must have felt as a mother, seeing her baby girl have to endure such a scary and risky thing, unsure of the outcome. Syd was a trouper though. There wasn't one ounce of fear in her little body. There never is. It's one of the awesome things about her. One of the ways I aspire to be more like her. Syd knew everything would be okay. But, she also had her mom taking the brunt of the battle. Anita has a greater understanding of the risks and possibilities to things like this. She has to watch and wait as the whole thing goes on. That's enough to drive any normal person. She told me how she really had to encourage herself and read scriptures to remind herself that everything was going to be okay.
And it was. And it is. Everything is okay.
In the moment, during the process, everything doesn't seem okay. And you have a choice. You can freak out, give up, and you can try to fix and hold everything together. But that's not gonna work.
Anita learned the depth of a powerful lesson. The benefits of trusting in God, that He will do the things He's promised us that He will. There was no sense in worrying, no sense in getting all worked up, trying to figure it all out. God has everything under control... we don't have to worry about a thing...

Now, I don't have a brain tumor, but the lesson is the same here.
I need to let go of control and trust God. He knows what He's doing. He has everything under control. It is all going to be just fine. Worry is stupid.
This isn't just a thing you can know and never fight again. Like Anita did, I have to keep encouraging myself in it. But if I do that, and trust that He's gonna handle everything, He will. And I save myself a lot of stress.

What a beautiful fact. <3