Uncertain.
I feel as though the carpet has been pulled from under me.
So many key things in my life have been shaken, and even though some things still remain, I'm uneasy about them.
This has already happened once before.
It scares me.
I'm afraid I've just been lying to myself. Making up things and making myself believe them to take the sting out of life.
I'm really feeling like a failure. With a lot of things. I know there are so many things I could have done better, and now I can't fix it. I just feel like apologizing to so many people. For not beign better.
There's so many things my heart longs for, and it seems that those things I long to be and do, I just throw out the window.
And I don't think these lies are helping any.
Maybe I should just start life over.
Or just stay away from everyone until everything progresses enough for me to pick back up on.
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