I need to learn to be okay by myself.
I'm in a really difficult place right now, and I know I just have to push through it.
It's hard when the one thing you know you can do for someone is nothing at all.
At the same time, I feel selfish. That I asked. That I feel like I can ask things of the people that are also hurting. Granted, it kinda all fell in spaced out timing. Still, I can't help but feel badly.
I want to help. I want to fix it. I don't even know how to fix myself.
I don't know what I need. And life doesn't stop to let you figure it out.
I'm conflicted.
I'm conflicted on a few different parts of life.
nothing really seems clear or certain.
At the same time, I feel selfish.
I feel like a jerk. For not appreciating what I do have. For not understanding. For not being more sensitive.

I wish I knew what to do.
so I'm gonna sleep...