Whatever this transition phase is, it sure is a doosey.

I know it'll prove worth it.
I just want to actually learn everything, and not find myself writing the same things I wrote as a kid.
I don't want to deal with the same things
But, currently, I don't know what to do differently.

I've still got 3 weeks of this at least.

I'm sure everything will be fine.

My brain is a whirlwind currently.

So  much transition going on, so much to grasp and so much to just hold on through until I get to the other side...
I'm so eager for the other side, whatever it may be.
But I can't neglect where I am now
The time I have now.

I'm so tired.
I have so much to get done.
and I'd rather be doing all of that.

Ooooh well.

Thank God

Everything with the wreck has worked out. And I know it's all by God's grace
So, if everything goes well in changing my plea tomorrow it'll all be over with.
I was able to meet with a lawyer and get his advice in what to do about it, which helped me understand everything so much more. I'm analytical, and I like understanding.

I have a new 2011 Ford Escape I get the license plates to tomorrow. She's the best thing ever.

There are still a few fears I fight while driving, but I pretty much have to keep a level head and not let it all get to me.

I have learned so much. A ridiculous amount. And I know there's only more to learn.
I have friends in my life I know are going to last, which I greatly appreciate.
This is a safe place.
My life is heading in a beautiful direction.
I know there is much  more to learn, but I'm actually excited about it. I'm excited to see how it all unfolds. I'm excited for whatever is to come that is giving me such hope.
It must be awesome if I can be this hopefully while clueless to what it is.

I'm at a loss for words.
<3

sudden stop.

I feel like life has haulted.
Like I don't write enough
I don't express enough
I have all this inside me, and I don't know what it is, nor how to get it out.
I'm stuck.
With this unidentifiable lump in my throat.

Where is life going?
Where have I been?
Why do I care at all anyway?

How am I supposed to feel?
How am I supposed to act?
How much am I supposed to pay attention to certain things and when do I channel my focus elsewhere?

It'll all make sense soon enough
Right?

Life sure is a funny thing.
And right now I feel lost.
Not in a terrifying way
Just in a numb, shock-sensed, unidentifiable way.

*shrug*
I guess we'll see

thoughts.

The end is the hope.
But don't focus so much on that that you miss opportunities you have right now.
There is life to be lived
You were given another day.

There is more to be done here
There are people to meet
There are places to go
There are influences to make.

Don't waste your life looking forward to the end.
Live.

It's not always glamorous
It's not always perfect
It's not always ideal.
But, it's life
It's yours.
Make the most of it.

The end will get here soon enough
And then there are no second chances.
What is done will be done.

You know the end is coming.
Rest assured in that and live.

Mattea

"just want to tell you that you are loved by me..

greatly"

People who tell me these things Really don't realize what they are telling me

They usually have no idea how much this truly means to me..

I was taking a walk the other day
I've been trying to do this to help get better with ballet, walk/run every day I can.
Well, this particular time, I decided to walk a little longer than usual. I wanted to look at the house my friends are looking to buy, and knew this next street looped around.
A soccer mom-type with an SUV full of kids drove past me. I see something fall out of the window and the car stop. You hear her telling one of the kids to go get it, and a kid crying inside about losing it.
I ran up to it, picked it up, and met the one child to give it to her.

The mom yelled, "Thank you!!" out the window at least three times

It's the little things...
<3