April 20th.

I have yet to journal about the state of my heart this weekend, so this may be all over the place, so bare with me.

April seems to be the month that holds the most anniversaries of tragedy out of any other. This inadvertently causes it to be a month of reflection and contemplation for me.
I'll have you know that I don't like the words I just used to describe this, but there they are; cliche and everything.

I went back on some of my older posts on here to read the kind of stuff I was writing about when I started this. Would you believe I've almost had this blog for five years? Yep, that'll be this year.
It feels like everything and nothing has changed in that time frame. This will never cease to blow my mind.

I like where I am in life and who I am and where things are going, even though I haven't a clue about the details. I have somehow managed to figure out who I am, that it's okay--even wonderful--to be this person, that I am rather damaged, that being damaged doesn't negate me of happiness, that not everything is my fault, that this fact doesn't mean I can walk all over people's emotions, that I'll probably never be understood but that that doesn't mean I should keep quiet about things.

You never know who is also going through the depths you find yourself in.
Speak up.
Think of how much you wish someone understood you, and imagine how great it will be when someone finds that you understand them.
It's healing, really.

Life is going to be hard, sometimes.
It won't make sense, it'll make you cry.
But if for nothing else but to show someone else that it's possible to make it through this hell on earth, it's worth fighting.

I believe in you, my friend.
Believe in me, too.

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