Well, this got extensive.

Sometimes, I feel this way.
When certain things line up just right,
My brain starts turning, but at the same time its silent.
It's my spirit that does most of the speaking.
But if i try to put it into words other people could understand,  I would inevitability fall short.
There are no words.

But these moments when im enveloped in this thick, undeniable knowing happen too often to not at least document their presence. 

Im inspired. 
I feel deeply.
Tears sometimes roll with out sorrow or explanation. 
They just are.

This vast understanding,  something deep within my being, having been there since I was a child, since I was able to choose it, to know thisnis what I wanted.
Ive accepted the hardships that come with it. They pale in comparison anyway.  What do hardships matter in the light of eternal glory? Not my glory, but glory to and of the only One deserving. 

Its these moment where explanation is nonexistent that I feel most inclined to write.
To express.
To document.

Its like im aware what part of life we're in, what we have ahead of us to face. Its like ive known all throughout that this story line was special.  I didn't know the outcome,  I even thought I had answers that turned out to be false. But all that comes out in the wash.

Other stories, be they fact or fiction,  where the characters and storyline coincide with mine tend to spur on these days of unexplanation.
I identify with them.
Im given proof and fact that the story my life tells is not one in vain.
That all this isnt crazy,
That what I sense and feel is real.
That this is deeper than human words can explain,  because even if they could, the human mind can't fully understand it. Its too vast, too incredible. This life is more than what meets the eye.
Humans can gets glimpses.  They can be told, but never fully understand until its experienced. When the time is right.
I think thats how sometimes people notice an unexplainable difference in me. So unexplainable that some just dont know how to handle me.
But those that do... they get it. They feel it . They sense it.
They work on the same level I find my heart dwelling in.

Its not scary, though some may think it such.
Its beautiful. 

One day my life will make sense.
My thoughts,
My words,
My actions.
Like a novel series with hints of the end intertwined all throughout, yet letting the story write itself. Aware of the depth,  but unable to reveal it until the time is right.

There will be pain.
There will be loss,
Even death.
It won't be easy.
But through the Sacrifice comes the victory.

(These are my thoughts after watchin harry potter again and identifying with the story in a way parallel to Jesus and what Hes got planned for us. Also, while listening to Luke sital-singh's tornado ep. I know more than I am able to say, and each day is lived in obedience to Jesus whether it makes sense or not. My heart trusts in Him. He will not lead me wrong.)