Not gonna lie, I've been really stressed out lately.
It's almost been a month since my surgery, and I still can't eat anything without repercussion.
Most times I can just ignore the emotional toll this takes, but there are times when it's more difficult.
Not being able to do lunch with my mom because I can't eat anything where she wants to go. Or, I can go with her, eat something, and feel really sick later. Do I show weakness? Or do I play it off and just feel the pain on what's already a long day at work?
I'm having issues with my feet and knees in dance. Part of it is the fear of hurting again, which happens with my stomach. I don't want to do anything that's caused pain before unless I know it's safe. But how will I know if I don't try? But what if I try and it's not safe? That sucks. I feel like I'm falling behind.
Then I'm having to learn so much at work right now, moreso in preparation for one co worker having to leave town for a week. She's the only one who knows fluidly the complicated facets of what we do and I have to be the one--after 3 weeks of being here--to be able to handle all the legal things with this particular job.
No pressure.
I just honestly don't know how much I can handle before I truly break.
And it's not that it's bad. Because it's not. It's just difficult.
I'm exhausted as it is...