I'm supposed to be watching Grey's Anatomy right now, but I just can't bring myself to...
Okay, I guess "supposed to be" isn't the right term here.
I usually would be watching Grey's Anatomy right now, but I just can't peel myself away...
There's something here, lingering, I'm not certain, but I can't ignore it.
And I most certainly don't want it to go away.
I don't necessarily want to be here. I want everything to happen that's supposed to be changing my life into a fairy tale. But we all know it doesn't happen that easily, right?
After all, I'm not Cinderella. Heck, I don't even have a step mother. I do have a half sister, but I haven't heard from her in 20 years so I don't think that counts. And even so, the memories I have of her are good ones, so that doesn't exactly constitute as "evil."
So what do I do about this? There's plenty I could do for work, too, but I can't bring myself to...
There's something else here lingering.
Really, I want to be asleep. But, that's not an option. Even if it was, the air may be too thick for it.
So... that still leaves me here... searching...
Longing, wanting, yearning to fill whatever this hunger is inside of me.
But if nothing feels "right" then what exactly am I to do about this?
I was taught that if you don't feel peace anywhere else, then don't move until you do.
That's why I'm here... even though this doesn't necessarily feel like peace, per say.
Maybe that's just preparing me for whatever is ahead. Cautioning me that change is coming. To not get too comfortable. To just sit back and trust.
It's not always gonna be easy, this life, but that doesn't mean we don't have to enjoy it. Even on the days that are less pleasant.
One day all of this will prove worth it. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.

Now I wish I could sleep...