hindsight.

In hindsight, it seems that I just screw people’s lives up…I can recall being told numerous times,“Emilee, you helped me grow a lot”In other words,“You made me so mad… so I used it to “learn from” to make myself feel better.”
Or, once I’m gone from people’s lives, I see them post about how that season was so difficult. Or things happen that seem out of no where, but I can’t just erase it. And I don’t understand it at all.
What am I to do?Nothing.
Matthew 6:34… I suppose that also means not to worry about what has already happened as well.I find myself content. But it seems that when I do, things come in to make me anxious.
Why is it that I can’t know what’s coming up in the near future, but others can?And why is it that when I’m going where I feel God is leading me, and doing what I feel is correct in every situation, and if not, as soon as I realize it, I’m quick to correct it or apologize, or both… Why is it that things still seem to fall on me?
…
Because I trust. I can’t see all of this, because I trust.And that’s not a bad thing at all. I just know that it won’t all make sense to me now…I have to remain secure in the fact that I was indeed led by God, in everything…And that He isn’t gonna leave me hanging…
I don’t even know if that makes sense…but it does in my head, and more importantly in my spirit.
I guess I just gotta let life happen.