So I went to this conference.

holy moly.
Amazing. Honestly and truly
And I don't think I realized how truly amazing it was until now.
I'm home, back to normal life.
Learn to cope.
Now, life isn't terrible. By any means. It's actually quite wonderful.
It just seems as though there is this cloud looming over
I don't really know how to explain it.

I thought it would be hard to be with my family, but, honestly, that was when I felt the happiest, and most comfortable.
I mean, I want to be on my own and all, but it was good to just know I have family.

So now, I'm laying here...my bag still packed, room a mess of everything I left behind--clothes, fears, everything out of my car, work keys...
Many things happened right before I left
My car got broken into
My camera got stolen
I had to deal with a lot of people on those two things alone...
ummm...just a lot.
A lot of fear, a lot of questions, a lot of rearranging and figuring out.

Anyways.
I went to this conference at Christ For The Nations, and it was awesome.
I found myself at the spiritual point with God that I last found myself at when attending first year at TBI...
When I had visions, and dreams, and heard God's voice so clearly. It was a very defining moment.
It was so...refreshing, and...comforting almost. Just so good to know that I'm not hopeless.
I realized that I think I'm more important to people than I realize.
That I have influence
That I do matter. And I do make a difference.
Even though I don't really see it, or understand how.
It's not about me anyway.
I know that things are about to shift. They have to be. Things can't just stay here.
I'm ready, I am. But I don't want to lose this...
...everything I've rediscovered.
I just want to find more, to go deeper, to push harder...
I never want to end one day the same way I began it. I want to go forward.
continuously forward.

Jesus, please continue to burn in me.
Help me to not forget that this is all about You
burn in me
burn in me
burn in me...