Sometimes, I just want so desperately to feel God.

To have Him hold me
or comfort me
Let me know everything is gonna be okay
That all this is worth it

But, I know that this will happen in time
and this is where trust comes in.

Right now, I just want someone who knows my heart.
To just hold me.
Where I don't have to say a word
Because, honestly, I have no words.
But I don't think that people can understand any of this.

It's more complicated than human minds are capable of comprehending.

I need to find my laptop charger...

I wish

I could express everything on my heart.
And be understood.

But, I do believe that is impossible
And honestly, I don't know if it's what I really want anyway.

I wish

I could express everything on my heart.

And be understood.

But, I do believe that is impossible

And honestly, I don't know if it's what I really want anyway.

Telling dad was actually easier than telling mom.
He sees there are some pretty big risks
But, somehow understands.

Christmas was today
It was kind of a difficult thing
Winter does this to me...
But, thankfully, I have a great family
They can tolerate me and make me feel better

Today was a good day.

Energizer Bunny.

sigh.

Told mom.

"I think you're making a mistake"

I dread telling dad.

Peace.

The deed is practically done.

All I have to do now is wait for January 4th for the next step.
Well, that, and tell my parents.

I know that won't be an easy thing.
Why should it be so difficult?
I'm doing what I think is right for me
If I'm wrong, it's on my own head.

Sure, it's a risk, but if I don't take it, how will know if it's worth it?

So, I'm taking it.
Why?
Because it's my life.
I want to enjoy it while I have it
Instead of waiting around hoping for things to get better.

I'm making things better.
I deserve happiness.

In other news, I got Despicable Me today :)